Preform this way

Your day starts good when u wake up in the morning with a headache from yesterdays wine and coke. U trying to recall why are u in a bad mood, then u remember your gf calling you minutes before u go to sleep to start yelling and crying to u again cause u fucked up again with some bullshit. Im a guy, Im always wrong, I always fuck up. Why am I such a fuck up...
I should be grateful she takes the time and calls me to tell me how much I suck and how much Im destroying relationship with my internet addiction and how I am a disappointment  for her for the millionth time etc. 
Yes, thats how I start my day. Getting to the computer and seeing if my movie downloaded. It did, put a little smile on my face. Go downstairs to piss, yea I live in the attic, most gamers u see on tv and bums live in a basement but no in Croatia they just give u the attic.
Now it feels better, Im not carrying 2 litters of liquid in my bladder. Yea go me. My mom made me coffee and damn life would be just perfect if like I didnt think about how my headache is ripping me to shreds and how my gf is coming today to yell at me again and call me a worthless bum.
I start to sing while I pour myself some coffee and milk, then out of fucking nowhere a fucking fork comes flying my way. Misses me for like a centimeter and stabs the damn wall. At this point Im like wtf. 
What just happened, who threw a fork at me(I RLY wanna put a question mark here, but my life sucks and that includes my keyboard too and question mark is not working, as the numbers from five up are not working. Including five.U see I pressed five the sentence before and nothing happened so I had to type F I V E)
Yea my life, no question marks and no numbers after 4. Getting off topic, not like I have one here.
So I look back and I see my mom bitching how I shouldnt be singing about some stupid crap, and Im like just wtf!
Good at least exclamation sign is working on this crappy keyboard!
I smile in shock, pick up the damn fork and pass it to my granny to wash it. She takes it politely, and I can tell why I almost got a fork in my head. My moms mom pissed my mom off and I came in with my song and dancing attitude and thats how u die from a fork.
I throw her the ultimate insult I can think up with my half drunken crazy head in pain. You are just crazy like my gf mom ffs and I walk away with a happy face, knowing that shit had to hurt.
Its hard for me to have to live with 3 women in a house. Imagine when they all have periods. Well my granny is too old to have one, right but that dosent make her less bitchy at all. Getting slapped by my gf then getting forks later in my head. Its how life is in the life of the legend. They all yelling at me in between, like sometimes I just wish they would get together and have a group yelling at me so I can save time. 
U know get that shit over then I can just go play my games and surf the net but nah they dont even coordinate, one yells at u before sleep on phone, the other when u wake up and guess my granny is gonna yell at me at lunch time for eating in front of telly.
Yes life is hard when u are a useless bum like me without any ambition and life. When your only interest is to see whats new on you tube and what are your friends doing on fb and play damn games all day long - according to them.
Ow also God forbid I add a new girl to fb and God forbid my gf thinks that girl is good looking. Gosh Im gonna listen to it for a week, more like months -.-!
And then after all this bs, you look in a mirror downstairs thinking gosh either Im so pro that I can handle all this or Im that fucking noob that I put up with it. Then I look besides me and still see some alcohol from last night and I pour it into a cup of coffee thinking if it makes it worse at least Il pass out from the pain and not think of anything at all. Not thinking about a fork stabbing my head and not think about how I got to go to work tomorrow.
I get on the damn computer put a song I hate my life, click fb on Google. Get to most recent and read a status update from a friend " I dont need role models, I already own a mirror".
I put a comment stolen on his status and put it in my status and laugh at life. Laugh at ppl that throw forks at me, laugh at my fucking gf bitching about some Australian friend I have on fb that called her a bitch and why the hell I added her again and how much I hurt her feelings.
I laugh at the fact that I have to get up tomorrow and go to fucking work that I dont even get payed for. 
I laugh at my character in league of legends who dies in 1 hit from everybody.
I laugh at my fucking neighbors who are cutting there grass again. Laugh at a fucking dog outside thats barking again.
I laugh at the ppl that fucking take life seriously.
I laugh at all the noobs.
I laugh at the girl/guy thats fucking reading this. 
And I laugh at myself just cause I fucking can.


Legend out
ONE LOVE