Jack Sparrow

I woke up every day and the first thing I do which pisses of my gf when she sleeps over is that I turn my computer on and then go make some coffee. When Im in a good mood I sometimes kiss my gf after getting the computer button pressed.
Its how I roll, I am a gamer not a lifer and the way I start my morning is with morning owange. Normal ppl probably start with it with morning glory, my bro agita told me that means waking up in the morning and jacking off to porn, I wouldnt know shit about that tho.
Wake up and own some fing noobs and then later we can cuddle if u rly want too. Its how the gamer rolls.
Now thing is that this post is gonna be about gamer bfs, name of the post means shit, its actually the song that Im listening to now cause I cant be bother with making up post names. Seems like its harder for me to make up a post name then write a post, cause it takes me like 20 minutes to think of a post name and about 5 minutes to write it so Im just giving up on it all the way. You should totally go check out that song if u be living under a rock, from lonely island with Michael Bolton, best shit ever.
I know it aint easy to be with a gamer bf for all the girls out there that are actually trying to have a healthy relationship with a gamer guy. Its insanely impossible. Thank you tho for still putting up with us mind fucked idiots that just wanna play games till they die of exhaustion.
Thing is with girls, they wanna do what YOU do and they wanna do it together.
Cause girls try to get into your life, u know they see u doing something. Like I dont know, playing games all fucking day long for an example and they wanna co-op with you.
You know that shit is about to go down and you can say bye bye bye to winning when they say "aw your charachter looks so cute, can I play with you?"
Thing is she is your girl and u love her and u dont have heart to say " No fuck off bitch, this is my game and u probably gonna suck at it and u gonna piss me off and im gonna yell at you and we probably gonna end up breaking up cause u fucking suck at this game". Shouldnt u be like cleaning the house or cook food for us or some shit like that???Dont u GOTTAAAA study for your school???
Nahhhh, it dosent go like that. You put a little smile on your face and be like hunny yea ofc u can play with me, I love you. U can do anything u set your mind too, dont worry us 2 we gonna own some noobs.
For first month you actually trying to be nice, like no worry's hunny so you died a couple of zillion times and we lost cause of it but no worrys sometimes u win and sometimes u lose, its how it goes. We love each other and we spending time together and thats whats important.
Inside of you, fucking screaming to death and u just wanna get a knife and stab yourself like 50 times in a row so you wont think about anything except the pain. Give me the sweet pain!!!!!!11111111
NO HUNNY U FUCKING SUCK, U CANT FUCKING PLAY THIS, U DIED FUCKING 9000 TIMES AND NOW IM AGAINST A TEAM THAT HAS ALL THE ITEMS while I have only fucking boots!!!!!!1111 WHAT CAN I FUCKING DO NOW HUNNY? CAN U FUCKING TELL ME?WHAT? WANT US TO SURRENDER AGAIN? YEA LETS JUST QUIT AND START IT ALL OVER AGAIN SO WE CAN FUCKING SURRENDER AGAIN...
After 3 months of yelling at her and her yelling at me when  I yell at her, after fucking banging her keyboard at the damn wall she finnaly understands what can she do and what can she not. But these is not the end cause you see girls have something in there head which makes them bored whit 1 class rly fast. So as soon as they learn how to play something, they instantly get bored with it Then u get fucked again and instead of finally winning, you start fucking losing all over again. And then the circle of life goes round and round, you see what happens is that she takes a new class or a char and she forgets all about what she did till this point and she starts sucking again.
Then we start from the beginning again and then Im not nice anymore, I just lose myself in all the damn loses and it dosent matter how much I love her and it dosent matter that one day I want her to have my kids, EVERY TIME SHE FUCKS UP IM BASHING HER SO MUCH.
Then I make her so nervous that she plays with me that when she plays with other ppl she is fine but she has pressure when she plays with me and she starts sucking.
At some point you both agree that is better to not to play together cause we fight about a stupid game and its leading us nowhere so now we playing the same game just not together most of the time.
Sometimes we do play together and thats it...
We have a silent agreement then I shut the fuck up when we play together and she shut the fucks up when Im noobing around in rl, it works for now. It works, not fucking with it. Cause as much as she is a noob in game, Im way bigger noob when it comes to rl and she does not yell at meat all when I suck at life.
Thats gamers love right there, she sucks in games but I stop to care as long as we suck together and at the end of the game we laugh about it.
But when I play alone with my bros then if we lose, the fucking sky will fall and all the living shit on earth will die!!!!!!1 Thats why when I play with my bros, we always fucking win.
Like my bro traxy would say "Like u had a fucking chance!"
There are some positive shit about having a bf thats a gamer and nobody can say this is not the truth and only the truth. You see we will never fucking bore you with all the calls and text msgs when you go out with your girls or you doing some other shit that involves us cause we are fucking busy with ownage here. We dont have time to send u a text when we drolling all over our keyboard trying to win this!!!11111 Occasionally gamers will send out a msg and say how much they love you when there game is loading and thats totally cool, or they will call you and try to end the conversation in a minute cause the game is almost loaded. Its better this way cause when u send a text once a month she knows you fucking mean it or you wouldnt be bother picking up a cell and writing "I miss you" if you didnt mean it, cause u got better shit to do then writing lies on a cell, better shit = owning the noobs all day long.
Its how it rolls, u get your freedom as long as you dont suck around real lifers dicks around the town. We play the games and you go out all good,all happy, why fuck with that?
That shit works when a girl accepts that u not rly the social type,  when it comes to socializing the gamer will go on skype and talk to ppl while he plays games.
There are some situation gamers cant avoid and they need to socialize like thanks giving, xmas and some other holidays that involve all family members to be present including the girls bf and we cool with that as long as we dont have to come to family dinner every fucking friday.
Gamers and socializing dont rly go together unless its all about gaming it around, its like taking a shit on toilet. Will only do it if i have to, if i can still hold it for a day or 2 then i wont be bother rushing to a toiler since i can do it later. Thats socializing for you in a toilet manner for gamers.
But going out on friday or on weekends and getting hammered with some rl noobs, thats not how a gamer rolls.
If I want to get drunk with a bunch of ppl I dont know, il just turn on skype and call all the ppl on my contact list that I dont never ever talk to and it will have the same effect. Also after I get tottaly hammered I dont have to walk home, I just take 1 step and collapse in bed. Then u lifers try to convince me that going to partys is better, fuck that u the noob here.
Also drinking while playing game works as long as u realize that sooner or later you will be a fucking noob cause of the alchocol in your veins.
Im talking this from a perspective of a real gamer, not one of those guys that play for fun and dont care about winning or losing, tho I never understood how can u play for fun then loose all the time? Where the fuck is fun in that???????Just a lame execuse for sucking in games! UNINSTALL AND PLAY TETRIS!111
U either be good in something or just move the fuck out of the way and let others be good at it while u go play fucking tetris. K nuf said about that fun bullshit nobody understands that noobs be talking about.
Either u have fun winning or u fucking suck at game and you need to uninstall and go play some pve shit nobody plays. K done with that now, for reals.
There is one good plus about not going out, you never see other girls and gfs love that. Like the only girl I saw in months now besides my mother and my granny and my gf is my neighbor who has a kid, cause u see I dont go out to dance clubs or going out with the buddys. My buddy's are on skype playing games, not lifing in damn town doing some stupid shit like dancing with other girls. Come on, who has time for that when your whole life is focused on playing games. Just owning noobs and getting that skill sharp.
Thats a definitly + cause gamer bfs dont cheat on there girls, they dont have time to do. Just no time, not enough time to own every noob in the world let alone to go fuck around. We play at home, we eat at home and we fuck at home, yea also own at home. Do not forget the own part, thats most important part.
There is one other thing that most of the girls probably feel it when they end up with a gamer in bed, he plays to fucking win every fucking time. Its not about you did good, nah he girls will end up screaming U THE GAMER
U THE FUCKING GAMER AND u know they will pass out cause nobody takes that much pwnage in 1 match, no fucking way
gg
Its perfectly normal when u think about it cause whole our life we winning and we doing it with our reflexes and our hands and the adrenaline shots just keep us fucking healthy and pumped up and ready to own even when it comes to bed.
Not like im bragging here but like gamers = best sex ever
no joke
Being in a relationship involves playing little games with your gf, like I dunno table tennis or chess or some shit like that. Let me tell you something, if you did not know NO GIRL LIKES TO FUCKING LOSE AT ANYTHING. They wanna be good at w/e shit they doing against you and you as a gamer will not back down, I saw that with normal ppl, like lifers a guy lets girl win even if he is better then her.
...
I tell you something, there is not a gamer on this fucking earth that will let a girl win at anything no matter how much he loves her, if he is a true gamer that means he is a fucking warrior. No FUCKING WAY HE is letting a win out of his hands, we live to win.
This clip says it all
THE GUY IS A GAMER
NUF SAID AND THE OTHER GUY IS JUST SOME RANDOM FUCKING NOOB IN RL
LOVE SCRUBS BTW ;)
CLICK HERE
GAMERANDLIFER
GIRLS not rly feeling that... Sad but true...


Ok enough bullshit for me today.
Props to all the girls that actually put up with gamer guys, we totally not worth it but thank you for loving us still :)



one love ppl one love
legend out

ps. every gamer needs a girl, cause he needs to raise little noobs sooner or later and teach them how to own ;)